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Monitoring Your Teens for Drug Use Without Appearing to be Spying

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Even if your teenagers do not use drugs, you still need to keep

an eye on them. It is much better to realize that things could

change, and anticipate that your teen COULD become a user.

Essentially, it is not wise to make assumptions about topics

such as drug use. Also, having been a high school teacher

afforded me the opportunity to witness peer pressure, and how

even good kids could be convinced to try drugs - just to fit in.

It is important that you play a proactive role in ensuring that

your teenagers and the rest of your family remains drug free.

About drug use Initially, I learned that the signs of drug use

included three basic symptoms: A loss of interest in hobbies

A change in friends A drop in grades

What I later discovered was that not seeing these symptoms only

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provides a false sense of security regarding teenagers and

potential drug use. The above behaviors apply more to signs of

drug addiction, as opposed to experimental drug use.

Teens who experiment with drugs dont start out addicted so

logically, they do not show any symptoms. They generally look

healthy and nothing seems to be wrong. In fact, teens can

casually use drugs for over a year before their parents would

even suspect any drug or alcohol use.

Many teenagers who decide to experiment with drugs start out

casually, using them with friends and then progressing towards

regular use. It is important that you look for clues pertaining

to casual drug use so that if your teen is prone, you can

proactively deal with it.

What you can do You need to monitor your teens behavior and

watch for signs of drug use, without appearing to be spying.

Your goal should be to prevent him or her from feeling free to

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experiment with drugs or alcohol. The best way to accomplish

this is to keep abreast of your teens activities and friends.

You will be able to spot a problem early if you keep your eyes

and ears open, and believe that YOUR teenager is capable of

using drugs. Many parents get blind-sided by thinking that their

teen would never try drugs. Only then will you be ready to

intervene if the situation presents itself.

The following are ten ways to monitor your teenagers behavior

and watch for signs of drug use, without appearing to be spying:

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1. Hug your teen as soon as s/he arrives home. Check for odors

of possible marijuana smoke or alcohol. Remember that cologne or

chewing gum may be used to hide the odor.

2. Teenagers under the influence will usually go straight to

their room when they arrive home. While making eye contact, hold

a brief conversation. Check for bloodshot eyes, slurred speech

and their sense of balance.

3. Keep the lights on and stay up until your teenager comes

home.

4. Ask your teen for the time and watch the way s/he looks at

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his or her watch.

5. If your teenager unexpectedly wants to spend the night at a

friends house, and you have concerns, say no.

6. Maintain a flexible schedule. Be unpredictable so your teen

cannot find it easy to plan around your activities.

7. Keep abreast of what your teen is really doing when away from

home. Meet their friends and their parents and participate in

mutual activities. This is a very effective form of networking.

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8. Ask your neighbors to discretely keep an eye on any

activities that may take place while you are not home.

9. Check to see how your teens are doing in school. Ask their

teachers if there is any cause for concern or if your teen has

been behaving differently.

10. After you meet your teenagers friends, always ask them to

identify themselves when they call. Get to know them. Always

encourage your teens to invite their friends over while you are

home.

Remember, your goal should be to prevent your teenager from

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feeling free to experiment with drugs or alcohol. The best way

to accomplish this is to keep abreast of their activities and

friends using the above methods.

Lastly, but most important, talk to your teenager on a regular

basis about the drug use she witnesses, and how she feels about

it. Also, if she has been approached, have her describe how she

handled the situation. Strive for honesty and ask how you can

help her to remain drug free.

This article is an excerpt from the book "Realizing the Power of

Love," How a father and teenage daughter became best

friends...and how you can too! By V. Michael Santoro, M. Ed and

Jennifer S. Santoro. For more information visit their Web site

at http://www.dads-daughters.com/

Copyright 2004 by V. Michael Santoro and Jennifer S. Santoro,

All Rights Reserved.

About the author:

V. Michael Santoro, M. Ed, has 10 years of experience as an

educator. He is also certified in Training & Development with

over 18 years of industry experience.

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